holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
