I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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