Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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