He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
