Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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