If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
