Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
