we have pet lesbian snakes
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
