at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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