Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
