How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
