i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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