the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
