So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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