You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
