i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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