Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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