Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
