we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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