she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
