My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
