I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
