I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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