quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
