He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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