the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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