Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
