youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
