i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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