My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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