Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
