The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
