In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
