Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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