No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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