Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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