hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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