The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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