Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
