I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
