You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
