I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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