hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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