he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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