after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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