I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
