She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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