it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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