So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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