something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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