i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
