My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I supernannyed him into submission
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
