I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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